Many of Miss Expatria’s loyal readers have taken advantage of her inspired lessons to learn the most useless phrases ever spoken in Italian. If you’d like to sound like a native speaker who’s mildly retarded and/or drunk, you’ve found your teacher!
How to Say it in Italian: Pronunciation Guide for Tourists
I forget words. I emphasize the wrong syllable. I hate that every object on earth has a gender. And don’t ever ask me what I “would have been doing” because I guarantee you, my answer will take a while and most likely be incomprehensible.
How to Say it in Italian, Miss Expatria Style
Relax. Your waiter does not want to know your opinion on stem cell research.
How to Say it in Italian: Advanced Guide
When in doubt of a word, say it in English with a heavy Italian accent. No kidding. You can test this out by saying “computer.” Say it like you normally do, and watch them glaze over. Say it, comb-poo-tair (not “pyou,” “poo”), and they’ll light up like a Christmas tree.
How to Say it in Italian: It’s All in the Vowels
It appears that while pecorino is a delicious cheese, pecorina means to have sex doggie-style. Needless to say, I was very popular among the Napoletani for the rest of the weekend. And more embarrassing stories.
How to Say Harder Words in Italian
sfogliatella = sfole-ya-tell-ah
A pastry from Napoli, crunchy yet flaky with cream inside. Do not eat when wearing black, as the powdered sugar will be your demise.
How to Pronounce Names of Italian Cities
Capri = COP-ree (Yes. Really.)
How to Say it in Italian: Italian Idioms
The way I say it, it means: He flew from the thing for the pan
How to Say it in Italian: More Idioms
“I got you a puppy.” Davvero?! (clap hands excitedly for prezzies) “I’m dating George Clooney.” Davvero. (give withering look and slowly sip your wine)
How to Say it in Italian: Words of Love and Like
My favorite one, though, I most often notice among teenage girls – ti voglio tantissimo bene. I wish you the very best in the whole wide world. It’s like the Italian version of BFF.
Miss Expatria 
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Oooooooo! I LOVE al of these!!! I am converting them in PDF’s as we speak so I can read anywhere, anytime!!!
I’m really lovin’ this blog. Off to read more…..
Salena
The Daily Rant
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Book marking this page….need to brush up on my Italian. Thank you!
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I want to learn phases in Italian so your web site might help me. Thanks!
“Chi la sera i pasti li ha fatti, sta agli altri lavare i piatti” Can you translate this for me someone? thank you!
Hi Nancy!
It means, whoever makes the meal lets the others do the dishes. Hope that helps!
Bravo! I struggle with the same issues in French. Hint: since Italy and France are patriarch societies, it is safe to say that the gender is usually masculine. Loved the pronunciation info.
Lille
Too true re that rule. But it doesn’t help when I’m tired and say “la trena” LOL! True story.
It’s like you bring the feeling of homesickness to life. You clearly know it intimately. I look forward to reading more.
t.v.t.t.t.b!!!
lol
bff
Glad I found your blog, I lived in Rome for a year in high school then half a year after finishing college, I miss it!
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Good to see a strong focus on Italian pronunciation and to sound Italian (like a native speaker). Bravissimo!
Wow! I have been reading this all day long!
I love the part about the idioms, I’m Italian and I never pay attention when I say them, but I realised they are so funny!
Forgive my English, everybody knows we are not famous for our perfect knowledge of other languages…
I will translate this in Italian 😉
Wow! (Also Wooooow! And for somebody Uau!) Sono stata a leggerlo tutta la giornata! Adoro la parte sugli idioms, sono italiana e non ci faccio mai caso quando li dico, ma mi rendo conto che sono divertentissimi!
Perdonate il mio inglese, non siamo di certo famosi per la nostra eccezionale conoscenza delle altre lingue… (la pronuncia non di sicuro)